Many of us go to church. I believed for years that attending was good enough. I would go though my week not giving much though about God, then heading back into church on Sunday, I would “reconnect”. I honestly didn’t know how to go deeper in my relationship with God. I would spend some time in my mornings doing things that I thought would bring me closer to God, but it felt more like one of the items on my task list. It wasn’t about building a relationship with God, it was more about doing something that was needed, then moving on with my day.
About 2 years ago something changed. Not sure why it clicked then. I have analyzed this many times and have come up short. All I can say is that I got serious. Maybe things in my life had aligned just right to allow me to get serious with my relationship with God. I was no longer content with having a knowledge about God, I wanted to be intimate in my relationship with Him. I wanted to really know Him.
About that time I began going through a book by Sarah Young, “Jesus Calling”. That turned my world upside down. I read of things I never heard of before .. like quiet time, truly trusting Jesus in my day, the importance of the presence of God in my day, etc. These things began to stir in me a desire to dig deeper, wanting to know God in a way that brought out a deep change in my heart.
Since then, I have not struggled to spend time with Him. It is no longer an item on my task list but is the most important thing for me to do in the morning. I find that what He desires is on my mind during my day. Church is less important than it used to be. I still attend, but I no longer look for a reconnection in the services, the reconnection happens every morning.
Am I where I need to be? By no means. The deeper you go with God, the more things God brings to the surface. It is a journey, a wonderful journey. I desire to have others find this deep relationship with God as I have. It has changed my life and my thinking during my day.
Do I sin less? Probably not by much. The change now is that when I sin I’m very aware of the separation from the intimacy with God, and desire to reconnect and repent.
The major change is that there is a desire that used to not be there. I have gotten off the spiritual roller coaster .. up and down. I have difficulty explaining the why, I just know that it is there.